I want to remember how excited Carter was when he woke up. That he couldn’t wait to put on his new Sketchers and ride the bus.

I want to remember how Elsie was so cute looking out the window to see Carter get on the bus.

I want to remember the bus ride I got to take with him on the first day – how it was so cute to see him say hi to Braden and Leo. How I chatted with John and Nancy about how their mornings were. How the boys realized they all had the same shoes. :) How it was a little chilly because the bus had their roof window open. How it is kind of a long bus ride, and was made even longer with all the parents taking pictures (but was so cute!).

I want to remember how quick it seemed to go once we got to the school – that he lined up and went to go meet his teacher. I wanted to go with , but John let Braden head off by himself, so I did the same. How I was surprised I didn’t cry, but was instead so excited for him. And how it seemed like there were so. Many. Kids.

I want to remember that I wanted to take a million more pictures, but held back. :)

I want to remember how much I thought about him the whole day.

I want to remember how cute Elsie was when Tina brought the kids over while we were doing the garage sale. How she’d leaked through her diaper and had pants on instead of her shorts (a common occurrence lately).

I want to remember how glad I was that Jamie got home before Carter’s bus, so we could both be there to get him off the bus.

I want to remember how cute it was when we saw the bus pulling up and saw Carter in one of the very front seats with a HUGE smile on his face, waving like crazy. :) How excited he was when he got off the bus – he couldn’t stop smiling! How Tina told us that Elsie was looking out the window to see all of us too. :)

I want to remember when we asked him what he did during the day, all he remembered was playing on the playground. Then after we asked a couple more questions, he told us he’d found Carter O (from soccer last spring) at lunch and sat with him and Leo. And that he didn’t remember any of his classmates’ names, but he was glad to meet them all. (HA!)

I want to remember that when Jamie was unpacking Carter’s lunch box that he had the strangest things left – like his cookie! And how Carter said with a big smile “I loved the card you gave me in my lunch, mama!” Then he proceeded to eat some of what was left, because he realized how hungry he was.

I want to remember how quickly we had to eat supper to make it to soccer in time, and then how out of control soccer was. How he did good while we were there, but then was honest and said he didn’t like it afterwards. (we’re going to try to pull him out since there aren’t enough coaches)

I want to remember how it was fun helping him with his homework – filling out the sheet about his first day. How he didn’t have anything that he didn’t like. :) And how he said the first day was awesome!

I want to remember how when he went to bed, and we told him there was only one more school day this week, he was disappointed because he wanted to go to school more than just one more day. :)

Stationery card

just ordered elsie's thank yous from her first birthday on shutterfly - i can't wait to see if they turn out as cute as they look online!

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Grown Up Pink Birthday Invitation

Cards for all occasions: Valentine's Day, Easter & Mother's Day.

View the entire collection of cards.

it was a monday. we had to go home and gather up our things, and head back to the hospital. checking in, getting set up - it was exciting and nerve wracking and scary knowing what was to come. the unknown: what labor would be like. would you be a boy or girl? how were we going to do this - who said it was ok for us to do this? are we really this grown up?

we didn't get much sleep that night...there was so much anticipation. well, and a lot of beeping machines, nurses, and other hospital distractions... ;-)

first night with no moses basket...here goes nothing...

so, saturday night (12/17) i'm getting carter ready for bed. he's singing away in a manger, and we're talking about Jesus. he is saying how jesus was born on Christmas day, and then starts saying that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. all of a sudden, his face is super sad and he looks as though he might burst into tears, and says "why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" so, i just said that it was part of God's plan, and was the only way for our sins to be forgiven. he goes on to ask about sin, and we pray for forgiveness of his not listening earlier in the day. then he is still upset, and i ask what was wrong. and he says "but why did Jesus have to die on the cross? He was just a baby!" i explained that He first grew up to be a man. :)

then we talk about the fact that although Christ died on the cross, He rose from the dead three days later. there was much discussion about heaven, and that it's where we go after we die if we believe in Jesus, and that we will live there with Him forever. he asks about someone who recently passed away, and i said "yep, they are in heaven, with Jesus now!" with a confused look on his face, he said "but when did she rise again?" on with another explanation that only Jesus rose again...

as i can almost see the wheels turning in his head, he says something about missing jesus. so i say something like "do you mean you miss Jesus being on earth?" and he says "yes - i wish he would talk to me". so i go on to explain that God and Jesus can talk to us, but not in a way that we can hear - through the bible, sometimes through other people, etc. i pull out his bible, and we read some verses that talk about Him being with us, never leaving us, etc. carter seems ok with that, and then we finish getting him ready for bed. he lays down, and as we're praying, he says "dear Jesus, thank you for everything in our world, and for protecting us and dying for our sins." then there was a long pause. i peek over at him to see what's going on, and he opens his eyes, looks at me and says indignantly "see? He's not saying anything back!"

this is such an interesting stage...so much thought going on. so sensitive. i don't want to miss a moment or opportunity to help him understand. it is definitely a tough concept - even for adults, let along a 4.5 year old! Lord, help me with your words - your truth.

catching up little by little on december daily....

12.1: ernie elf arrives with a note for carter

12.3: candy cane hunt, hot chocolate & coffee @ starbucks, sweater party

i am almost in denial that it's december...where is the time going?! (i feel like my grandma saying that!)

because this time of year is so magical, and i want to remember as much as i can with our little family of four, i am going to work on a december daily album. i've attempted this for about the last three or four years, and even though it isn't something that always gets executed as i envision, i'm always glad with whatever i'm able to accomplish.

today, ernie elf made his first appearance of the year, with a little letter for carter. carter was so excited to see him after coming home from miss tina's! we'll see what this little elf does around here - both in antics and in helping with motivation....

i want to remember...

...how your smiles sometimes literally look like the emoticon :D

...what a good cuddler you are

...what your little baby breath smells like

...what an amazing sleeper you've been overnights, pretty much from the beginning

...how much your brother loves you (almost to a fault!), and sometimes can't stop kissing you

...how even though you seem so big right now, that you are still tiny

...how much more i love having a little girl than i ever thought possible

love you, my little els.

i have been blessed to have two relatively easy pregnancies...not too terribly nauseated, just typical tiredness, and for the most part, pretty normal feeling. enjoying the kicks, pokes and prods along the way. with elsie, it was actually even easier than with carter, because my blood pressure didn't get as high. thank goodness...i don't know how i would have done bedrest (or should i say jamie would have done?) with a 4 year old boy, who is truly all boy! it was as amazing as i remembered, the feeling her moving around. and those hiccups - she got them lots, once even while i was in the middle of yoga! (it's hard to try to relax and focus on your breathing at that point, i'll tell you that much!).

even though i knew my blood pressure had been better, for some reason i thought for sure i would need to be induced. in addition to the random memory that i had of my doctor saying that since i went so quickly with carter's induction that i should probably be induced the next time, i didn't think i would make it to my due date. but when i went to my 39 week appointment on tuesday 7/26, i hadn't progressed any further than i had been the two weeks prior - 3 cm. he offered to strip my membranes, but said that it only works 10-15% of the time. i figured since i was going to call and schedule an induction for later in the week, i'd just skip it.

we left the doctor's and had to run to the bank. as we were on our way there i had some pain that was slightly more intense than the cramping i'd been feeling over the past week or so. i mentioned it to jamie, and said "wouldn't it be funny if we just left the doctor's office and i went into labor?" we laughed and continued home, but i did keep having some pains intermittently.

when we got home, jamie went to pick carter up at daycare, and when he got back i figured maybe i should start writing down when i thought i was feeling something, as i was now somewhat convinced that these were contractions.

to be continued....

there are some days i can't believe this is my life. sometimes that is a not-so-good thing, but most times it is a wonderful thing. i am in disbelief that elsie has been here for seven weeks already. i am also very well aware at how far behind i am at keeping up with things here on the blog...that will change!

inspiration...wishing i'd logged the source for this image, but so loving this creative space. this is why i love pinterest - you can actually go back to the source.


here's another one - mudroom inspiration:


maybe some day the house will look like this. for now, i'll just revel in all the nesting i got done this weekend! guess there's one good thing that came from all the heat & humidity...

baby...details overdue

update and details on baby are long overdue, but in the meantime i'm going to enjoy the hiccups that are making me smile as I try to go to sleep. can't wait to meet you baby girl...

35 @ 35

as i turn 35, i want to be more intentional about embracing life this next year. so, here are 35 things that i hope to complete @ 35:

1. volunteer at least one night at the clothing closet at church
2. have a baby :)
3. document a week in the life
4. run another half marathon (oh jeez...)
   
5. do at least one month of once a month cooking
6. take at least one photo a week for a compilation book
   
7. make a quilt
8. bake a new kind of cookies with carter
9. go on a picnic
10. hike at gooseberry with carter
11. bind the birthday/christmas/etc cards for carter (and maybe some of mine, too!)
    
12. buy more indie music
13. write five letters to friends or family members
14. road trip to visit the chobans
15. build a piece of furniture with jamie
16. bake cupcakes for neighbors
17. take carter on a ferris wheel ride
18. 30 day photo challenge
19. re-do the photo frames on the ledge in the family room
20. go to the driving range with jamie some time
21. edit some of the video from what we've taken of carter
22. host a "formal" dinner
23. start a conversation with a stranger
24. find a volunteer opportunity that carter can do with me
25. document more about grandparents' stories from the past
    
26. work on photo books - even if they don't all get printed (so then they'll be ready when coupons come!)
27. find something fun to do with carter for a date night
28. check out more books from the library
29. make curtains for the baby's room
30. wear more skirts/dresses
31. update the blog more regularly
32. log at least 50 miles on the bike this fall
    
33. send 10 cards to friends for no reason other than to say hi
    
34. scan in my scrapbook pages
35. try a new food

here goes nothing!

it was a wonderful day, today, too. great music and message at church, delicious brunch at redstone, a nice nap, getting more stuff ready for the baby, grilling for dinner, and having a "surprise" birthday cake that carter picked out - a burger cake. bwahaha! so funny.

feeling very blessed, loving life, and those that i get to share it with.

today at the doctor....

i went to the doctor today. it's been an ongoing problem, but my overactive bladder was enough to drive me to make an appointment. unfortunately there's not much they can do, so i'll just rack up the points for all the many, many times i go to the bathroom each day. ugh!

today's stats:
bp - 128/68
baby's heartbeat - 158 bpm

further confirmation that carter's prediction that the baby is a girl? :-)

if you know my grandma, you may think of her as quiet. maybe she's considered shy. and don't get me wrong - she can be quiet, for sure. however, the things that she does - the way she cares for people - speaks volumes so loud that not many people compare.

one of the ways that she reaches out to others - whether it's her kids, granddaughters (or great grandson), friends or even acquaintances - is by sending cards. it is an art that is lost on my own generation, sadly, but the joy that comes from those cards is so great. whether it's a "just thinking of you" theme, or any one of many holidays (including the hallmark ones), she lovingly and at this stage in her life, painstakingly, makes out those cards with the recipient prayerfully considered each and every time.

another way that she shows her compassion is by sharing - picking up a few extra things at the grocery store to send home with one of the granddaughters, specifically picked according to their likes. buying books or activity/coloring books for her great grandson to learn from and stay busy with. when she and grandpa were still minnesota twins season ticket holders and would attend the home games, she would come with treats such as hershey's bars and m&m's (just to name a few) to share with their group of friends they'd come to know over the years in the section.

she's always asking about others, and deflecting any question or concern about herself in favor of what is going on with you. letting you know that you're loved. prayed for. are one in a million.

but grandma - that is you. you truly are one in a million. you are loved. prayed for. a blessing to so many, but especially to me. love you.

while i haven't decided if i want to do an all out baking day, i think i may want to try my hand at these:

Sea Salt Caramels

• 1 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 can evaporated milk
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 3/4 cup light corn syrup
• 2 Tbsp. butter
• 1/4 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1/2 Tbsp. coarse sea salt
• Oil or cooking spray

Directions

Active time: 30 minutes
Total time: 1 hour, 30 minutes
In a medium, heavy-bottomed saucepan, bring sugar, evaporated milk, and heavy cream to a boil over medium heat. Add corn syrup and continue cooking until mixture reaches 230°.
Add butter and vanilla; continue cooking, stirring constantly, until caramel reaches 240°. Remove from heat, stir in salt, and carefully pour into a lightly oiled 9″ x 13″ baking dish (parchment paper in the bottom of the pan is helpful).
Let cool at least 1 hour. Invert onto a cutting board covered with waxed or parchment paper and cut into 1-inch pieces with a sharp, lightly oiled knife. Caramels can be wrapped in waxed or parchment paper or cellophane. (To serve candy-store style, wrap individual pieces in parchment paper and secure the ends with a simple twist.) Store airtight at cool room temperature (around 65°) or in the refrigerator; will keep up to 3 weeks.

a note i wrote to my tall, dark and handsome husband

***

you make my heart skip as much now as you did when:

• i saw your neon jacket in 1990
• we really started dating in 1994
• we got engaged at gooseberry in 2000
• i saw you at the front of the church in 2001
• we found out i was pregnant in 2006
• carter was born in 2007

can't wait to keep adding to the list that weaves the story of our lives.

ten things

ten things i can't live without (not including jamie or carter):

1. my bible. although i don't spend as much time as i want to sometimes, i read it every day. right now i'm in jeremiah.
2. coffee. there are days when i have to limit myself to 3 "cups"....not sure if it's the weather getting cooler or what.
3. stride gum - sometimes two pieces at once, please.
4. my phone. facebook, twitter, email, what's not to love?
   
5. my saucony running shoes.
6. tivo.
   
7. contoured foam memory pillow. jamie and i each had one, but we left mine at the hotel in schaumberg last year on vacation. i promptly commandeered his.
8. facebook. there, i said it.
9. gap jeans.
10. podcasts. they help make the commute tolerable.

mn state fair - labor day 2010

our annual trip to the state fair with my parents happens on labor day. it's been fun to see the things that interest carter each year...from just people watching to fascination with the animals; from the food (or lack thereof this year!) to the rides. it's just one more example of how being a parent is so much fun to see how he experiences things!

sometimes i am filled with so much love for my beloved son i can hardly stand it. then there are mornings like today.

we were going to target, to buy him a spiderman on a four-wheeler that he'd been eyeing since we'd first started potty training. well, he has been doing really well in the potty training department, and we wanted to encourage him. however, upon our arrival at target, after discussing how important it was that he put his listening ears on, apparently - in his words - "they fell off". so we promptly left target empty handed.

after carrying him back to the car, all the while whining and sometimes screaming, he decided he was going to be incredibly defiant and not get into his seat. now, i was about to lose my mind, so after a couple failed attempts at time outs i just climbed into the car and grabbed him and put him in his seat. i told him he was in a time out the whole drive home, and that when we got home he would have to do another 3 minute time out. well, we got home and he marched himself right in and right to the time out spot. when the timer went off, he gave me a great big hug and apologized. i was feeling much better about things, and it really did seem like he knew that he'd been naughty.

after helping jamie with some stuff he was doing with my car, i told jamie to get ready and take a little bit of a break. i'd take carter to the park. so we left for the park, and carter ran almost the entire way - a half mile. so...my lesson learned is: get the boy out for some exercise before going to target next time! hopefully that will help!