first night with no moses basket...here goes nothing...

so, saturday night (12/17) i'm getting carter ready for bed. he's singing away in a manger, and we're talking about Jesus. he is saying how jesus was born on Christmas day, and then starts saying that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. all of a sudden, his face is super sad and he looks as though he might burst into tears, and says "why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" so, i just said that it was part of God's plan, and was the only way for our sins to be forgiven. he goes on to ask about sin, and we pray for forgiveness of his not listening earlier in the day. then he is still upset, and i ask what was wrong. and he says "but why did Jesus have to die on the cross? He was just a baby!" i explained that He first grew up to be a man. :)

then we talk about the fact that although Christ died on the cross, He rose from the dead three days later. there was much discussion about heaven, and that it's where we go after we die if we believe in Jesus, and that we will live there with Him forever. he asks about someone who recently passed away, and i said "yep, they are in heaven, with Jesus now!" with a confused look on his face, he said "but when did she rise again?" on with another explanation that only Jesus rose again...

as i can almost see the wheels turning in his head, he says something about missing jesus. so i say something like "do you mean you miss Jesus being on earth?" and he says "yes - i wish he would talk to me". so i go on to explain that God and Jesus can talk to us, but not in a way that we can hear - through the bible, sometimes through other people, etc. i pull out his bible, and we read some verses that talk about Him being with us, never leaving us, etc. carter seems ok with that, and then we finish getting him ready for bed. he lays down, and as we're praying, he says "dear Jesus, thank you for everything in our world, and for protecting us and dying for our sins." then there was a long pause. i peek over at him to see what's going on, and he opens his eyes, looks at me and says indignantly "see? He's not saying anything back!"

this is such an interesting stage...so much thought going on. so sensitive. i don't want to miss a moment or opportunity to help him understand. it is definitely a tough concept - even for adults, let along a 4.5 year old! Lord, help me with your words - your truth.

catching up little by little on december daily....

12.1: ernie elf arrives with a note for carter

12.3: candy cane hunt, hot chocolate & coffee @ starbucks, sweater party

i am almost in denial that it's december...where is the time going?! (i feel like my grandma saying that!)

because this time of year is so magical, and i want to remember as much as i can with our little family of four, i am going to work on a december daily album. i've attempted this for about the last three or four years, and even though it isn't something that always gets executed as i envision, i'm always glad with whatever i'm able to accomplish.

today, ernie elf made his first appearance of the year, with a little letter for carter. carter was so excited to see him after coming home from miss tina's! we'll see what this little elf does around here - both in antics and in helping with motivation....

i want to remember...

...how your smiles sometimes literally look like the emoticon :D

...what a good cuddler you are

...what your little baby breath smells like

...what an amazing sleeper you've been overnights, pretty much from the beginning

...how much your brother loves you (almost to a fault!), and sometimes can't stop kissing you

...how even though you seem so big right now, that you are still tiny

...how much more i love having a little girl than i ever thought possible

love you, my little els.

i have been blessed to have two relatively easy pregnancies...not too terribly nauseated, just typical tiredness, and for the most part, pretty normal feeling. enjoying the kicks, pokes and prods along the way. with elsie, it was actually even easier than with carter, because my blood pressure didn't get as high. thank goodness...i don't know how i would have done bedrest (or should i say jamie would have done?) with a 4 year old boy, who is truly all boy! it was as amazing as i remembered, the feeling her moving around. and those hiccups - she got them lots, once even while i was in the middle of yoga! (it's hard to try to relax and focus on your breathing at that point, i'll tell you that much!).

even though i knew my blood pressure had been better, for some reason i thought for sure i would need to be induced. in addition to the random memory that i had of my doctor saying that since i went so quickly with carter's induction that i should probably be induced the next time, i didn't think i would make it to my due date. but when i went to my 39 week appointment on tuesday 7/26, i hadn't progressed any further than i had been the two weeks prior - 3 cm. he offered to strip my membranes, but said that it only works 10-15% of the time. i figured since i was going to call and schedule an induction for later in the week, i'd just skip it.

we left the doctor's and had to run to the bank. as we were on our way there i had some pain that was slightly more intense than the cramping i'd been feeling over the past week or so. i mentioned it to jamie, and said "wouldn't it be funny if we just left the doctor's office and i went into labor?" we laughed and continued home, but i did keep having some pains intermittently.

when we got home, jamie went to pick carter up at daycare, and when he got back i figured maybe i should start writing down when i thought i was feeling something, as i was now somewhat convinced that these were contractions.

to be continued....

there are some days i can't believe this is my life. sometimes that is a not-so-good thing, but most times it is a wonderful thing. i am in disbelief that elsie has been here for seven weeks already. i am also very well aware at how far behind i am at keeping up with things here on the blog...that will change!